Ebay

Once again, eBay has failed. Not that there is anything WRONG with eBay, but there are eleventy trillion items listed in any given category. How are the two or three buyers buying that week ever going to find my listing? Only by paying oodles of money to eBay, and probably not even then. I listed a bracelet that normally sells for $295 for $79, and no one bid. I sincerely doubt it was even seen by more than one or two people.

On another note - what is your opinion of full-contact sparring? I'm disappointed by the limited choices here in the martial arts clubs, and the two I am interested in both do full-contact. One is primarily a fighting-competition team, and I have the most serious problems with them. The other is more focused on instruction, but happens to spar full-contact.

I have a few problems with full-contact sparring, some general, some specific to me.
1. General objection - martial arts moves, done correctly and hard, are designed to injure or even kill someone. Padding up does NOT make this impossible. One of the clubs, the more competition-focused one, spoke proudly of having knocked out many people in fights before.

It is possible, although a bit of a stretch, to turn a martial art, or fighting art, into something suitable for sporting competition. Point-sparring is such an attempt. To win, you must be skillful, but you do not need to hurt each other. It is a step away from the self-defense aspect, but it can be a legitmate sport. If you do full-contact, you negate all attempts to make the art safe and it's simply a fight. I have a moral objection to being in a situation where my goal is to HURT the other person.

2. General objection - The primary goal of martial arts is self defense. Competition can be a way of refining your skills, gaining confidence, and a fun recreation, but it is not the purpose of martial arts. Martial arts were not designed to be a competitive sport. Focusing on the competitive aspect can seriously interfere with your ability to effectively defend yourself in a real life-or-death situation. If some guy tries to grab me and drag me into a dark alley to sexually assault me, I do not want my reaction to be to kick him in the head. It's too risky. I want my reaction to be to kick him in the groin, poke his eyes, break his knee.... whatever it takes to protect myself, whether it's pretty or not. This is self-defense, and I will do whatever it takes.

3. Specific objection - I have had 11 1/2 years of martial arts experience in 4 different open-hand styles and 1 weapons style. I have three black belts in different styles. I am fully capable of injuring or killing someone if I go full contact. I do not WANT to do this. I do not have any desire to hurt anyone. I am the person who, in the Nationals sparring finals, apologized to my opponent for knocking her breath out. (I did win, by the way, 5 to 1). I LIKE being nice, and I should not have to be mean in order to be respected as a martial artist.

4. Specific objection - While I am very skilled, I am also small. I am a 23 year old girl, a hair under 5 feet tall, weighing 98 lbs. I am NOT convinced that having a 5 foot 11 inch 200 lb guy, hit me as hard as he can is a good idea, regardless of his skill level. Knowing that we will be padded up helps, but doesn't mean that you can't get hit in the head hard enough to knock you out, or hit in the face by accident, or whatever. Accidents happen, and going full-contact is a good way to ensure that when an accident does happen, someone gets seriously hurt. And regardless of who made the mistake, being the smallest one, it would probably be me.

5. Specific objection - Being small, and yet being a black belt, I think I will be a target. Clearly in one club, there is no stigma associated with hurting people. It isn't outside the realm of possibility for some brown or blue or whatever belt to say, "Hey, I bet I can knock out that black belt." I am fully confident of my ability to stand up to anyone within 30 lbs of my weight in a structured fight, but I'm not so confident of my ability to stand up against someone who outweighs me by 70 lbs and is willing to hit me as hard as he can.

6. Specific objection - In a street fight, although small, I have an advantage in that a random hoodlum would not expect a 98 lb girl to fight like I would. I have the element of surprise, as well as the benefits of the training itself. That's one of the few benefits that being a small girl has in self defense. In a full-contact fight, that's gone, yet their weight/size advantage remains. I do not trust the people in the competition club to make allowances for my size when deciding how hard to hit me. Their coach clearly looks benignly, if not approvingly, on people going as hard as possible at all times.

7. General and specific objection - I am here for a purpose. I am in an extremely challenging and fairly exclusive graduate program focusing on national security, with the goal of working for the intelligence community. It is much more important to my life, long term, that I do well in school than that I win or lose in a martial arts competition. While competition is fun, I have more important things to do. Jeopardizing my ability to do well in school is not an option. I do NOT want to have to miss class or get behind in my work because I have a concussion or broke a bone. Aside from the basic desire not to get hurt, there is much more at stake here than my comfort... school is thousands of dollars, an 1100 mile move, untold amounts of student debt, and two years of my life (if I'm lucky). I do not want to mess it up by getting my nose punched through the back of my head.

I've taught before, and I'm capable of starting a new club here. It's a really tempting idea, and I think there's a definite lack in the martial arts instruction available. All the coaches are skilled, but at least one I have serious issues with. I could do it... except for the reasons listed above. Teaching takes time that I probably don't have to devote to it. I'll also only be here for two years (again, that's hopefully). I'd feel pretty bad starting something and deserting it after only two years.

So... that's the frustration of the week. Any thoughts, anyone?

Go to Shy Violet and buy some jewelry!